Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize