Don't you send me to vm
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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