That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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