i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
