drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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