I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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