he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
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He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
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He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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