i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
