is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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