shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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