something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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