32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize