I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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