Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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