I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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