I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
