How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
