census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
