Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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