So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My vagina just recognized that song.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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