dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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