My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
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