I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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