Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize