I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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