What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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