If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
