I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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