I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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