I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
