Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
