Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
