Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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