the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
