so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
not ubering you a puppy
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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