Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
