He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
