halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
my poor anus
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
