He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
