he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
