I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
