It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
