Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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