Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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