addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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