The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
