I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
