Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
