after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
