I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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