I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
