Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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