I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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