He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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