WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
