just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
