Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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