I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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