when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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