Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
